Loshon Hora

Loshon Hora (evil tongue) is lately getting me really nervous. This might have to do with the fact that I’m guilty of this grave sin myself and therefore I am self-conscious about it. Or, if you want to quote the Baal Shem Tov, “the bad one sees in others always traces itself back to oneself.” 

I waited until after Tishrei – so as not to speak ill of others before the days of judgment. 

It’s not the sin aspect, the aveira-transgression stuff that really worries me (Although that in itself is huge!). The part that really gets to me is the after-effects to the person or group being spoken about. I recently heard someone say that it would be hard for a frum Jew to be a good comedian, because most good jokes are putting others down. 

There is an anecdote that the Chafetz Chaim sent one of his students to the Rebbe Rashab (5th Lubavitcher Rebbe) to get a haskama-approval for his famous “Chofetz Chaim” manuscript on the laws of loshon hora. The Rebbe Rashab supposedly responded: “In Chabad we work on not even thinking loshon hora”(1). 

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Now all my Chabad readers are hopefully happy. No thinking loshon hora! We love all Jews (as long as you love us back). The 32nd chapter of the Tanya, the “lev” of Chabad Chassidus (the numerology of 32 is lamed-bet, spelling “lev,” or heart) is (I’m paraphrasing): “All Jewish souls are one body and when we elevate the body over the soul, it’s easy to love every Jew like oneself [for the body that separates one from another is subservient to the soul]…” So, while we’re working on controlling our thoughts and bodies, it might be a good idea to review a good book on the laws of loshon hora (there are hundreds to choose from). 

I try really hard to keep sarcasm out of my writing, but it does sometimes sneak in. I don’t have complete mind over body control. Or mind over mouth… 

(1). A similar story is told that the Chofetz Chaim asked the Rebbe Rashab why Chassidim make a big deal about not cutting their beard but not about loshon hora. The Rebbe Rashab supposedly answered that cutting a beard is a calculated act, as opposed to loshon hora, which is usually an accident.

The Rebbe’s take on taking a vacation

Over the last couple of years I have read a number of volumes of the Rebbe’s letters (recorded in over 40 volumes – most of his letters have not been printed yet).  One of the many benefits of reading the letters, is my getting a better sense of the Rebbe’s opinions in one-on-one related issues.  

The Rebbe delivered 10’s of thousands of public talks including directives and ideas for the masses.  The issue I often have is how to implement the many diverse ideas on a practical level.

In the public sphere the Rebbe often generalized, but in the individual letters you see his wisdom on a more personalized level. 

Why do I bring this up now?  The summer is a time for vacation and after Labor day I think according to all shitos vacation is over.  

The Fridiker Rebbe often took time off to just relax.  You see many pictures of him kind of taking it easy in a big nice chair with a cigarette etc.  There are many pictures of Gedolim going to the country smiling and relaxing in the field.  I recently heard that some chassidim ‘caught’ two big Rebbe’s with their feet up drinking beer (I won’t say who).

With the Rebbe you did not see this at all.  He made many statements especially in the 80’s and early 90’s that we can’t take off even a second.  We “need to go crazy and help every Jew, and bring Moshiach NOW!”  He himself slept precious little maybe 3-4 hours a night into his 90’s.   He did not stop for a second.  He told his wife that a 2 minute break he took looking out the window was enough for his to be ‘yotzei’ vacation for a of couple years.  He stood for thousands of hours talking to yiddin, teaching and learning NON STOP.  Pick up any sicha of the Rebbe and after reading one paragraph and you will see what I mean.

Yet in the Rebbe’s letters you see a much lighter tone.  He is writing to the individual.  

He writes to a student that taking a break from learning is a mitzvah.  He writes to a husband that he shouldn’t stay at shul 

on Shabbos davening too long, he needs to spend the time with his family at home.  He writes to the teacher that from his letter it seems he’s getting burned out, telling him that maybe he isn’t being paid enough.  On and on.

I hope you all enjoyed your summer vacations.

A few things I learned from Rabbi Immanuel Schochet of blessed memory

Rabbi Immanuel Schochet of blessed memory was not someone I knew on a personal level, yet during the 4 years I spent in the yeshivah in Toronto I had the opportunity to hear and observe him quite a bit.

He was a very independent thinker.  At the same time he was a strong and passionate chossid of the Lubavitcher Rebbe.  What was unique was that his independent thinking was a part of his relationship with the Rebbe.  

I know I am treading on thin ice here, so I will try to do it carefully. 

Rabbi Manis Friedman likes to relay the following talk of the Rebbe that framed his understanding of what it means to be a ‘follower’ of the Rebbe.  The Rebbe was raving about the fact that finally a chossid did something without asking him.  He was not happy that most chassidim asked the Rebbe’s opinion before they make any move.  He wanted that chassidim should reach a level where they internalize what is right and wrong and make their own decisions.  After they made their decision they can then ask for the Rebbe’s blessing.

Rabbi Schochet spoke and lived a life where he was not the Rebbe’s puppet or parrot.  He questioned, he asked, he didn’t just blindly follow like a fish.  At the end he surrendered to the Rebbe’s will, but not until he did his part in internalizing the message.

One story that brings out this point happened when he was bochur learning in 770.  Usually one was only able to go into the Rebbe’s study once or twice a year on a birthday or a very special occasion like a bar mitzvah or wedding, and even this only after booking months in advance.  There were a few exceptional individuals that had an open door policy, and they were able to come and go into the Rebbe whenever they wanted.  Rabbi Schochet was one of those – even as a bochur.

During one of his visits the conversation went something like this.  [The Rebbe was strongly opposed to students going to college.  Even after marriage the Rebbe usually did not favor going to college.  The Rebbe knew of Immanuel’s passion to go to college and study religion and philosophy to go and help Jews that were straying into Christianity and cults.  In addition he wanted to debate missionaries and priests.  The Rebbe told him he can go study after he gets married].  

He now came into the Rebbe to convince him to allow him to go to university now.  I’m told he spent over 30 minutes debating the Rebbe regarding his request.  Believe it or not he could not convince the Rebbe.  When he saw that the Rebbe wasn’t budging he said in Yiddish ‘farfalin’ – it’s a lost cause, I give up!  The Rebbe said to him, “nisht farfalin, nor getrafin” – [you’re] not lost, rather [you’re] found!

-          -      -

Rabbi Schochet's writing and scholarship is to be awed.  Most English Chabad publications in his times [and also now] are mainly translations of assorted discourses and texts.  Rabbi Schochet also translated much important text, but many of his books are studies at great depth.  

His footnotes show his encyclopedic knowledge of Shas Bavli and Yerushalmi, the Rambam and Jewish law, the Medrash, Zohar, Shaloh and hundreds of other texts which he was known to be fluent in.  This is obviously in addition to his knowledge of Chabad thought.  He was always out to show the original source for any Chabad thought, and to express what the Chabad thought added in the chain of the classical texts. 

I myself have spent hours going through a single footnote of his looking up all the sources.  In the introduction to a number of his works he points out that he chose to use footnotes as opposed to end-notes. The reason for this was so that even a beginner student would see that while the idea he articulated was brought down to their level,  the concept is really quite complex and a single sentence can be based on numerous intricate texts.

I can go on and on, but I’ll conclude with one story on this topic of scholarship in Torah.  His brother Rabbi Elisha Schochet taught us Halacha.  He was once talking about a line the Rebbe sometimes used.  The Rebbe at times would say that bochurim should learn Torah with such passion “that they even dreamt about Torah”.  After some pressing by some of the students Rabbi Elisha Schochet said that he first dreamt Torah when he was 11.  He then said that his brother Immanuel did it even earlier. 

Once when I was at Rabbi Immanuel Schochets’s Shabbos table, I confirmed this [using a little healthy chutza].  He said he thinks he was 10.

Is everyone entitled to an opinion?

Yes!  But there is one condition, that it’s your field of expertise.  The plumber will opine on the latest pipes.  The doctor will offer his choice of treatment for nose bleeds, and the cheder rebbi will tell you what kind of discipline works best.  

Ok, I get it; you’re all saying, well what right do you have to give your opinion.  I can honestly say I don’t think I give my opinion on issues outside of my league.  I do try to get my writings proofed by those that can give me their unbiased opinions, and more is erased then printed (thank G-d!). 

There's a story of a famous rabbi that was puzzled as to why his children were not following in his ways, while his neighbor the simpleton, merited that many of his children grew up to be great scholars. 

He went to a Tzadik for advice.  The Tzadik explained  to him: "Since you’re a rabbi of great prestige, you therefore feel entitled to give opinions regarding your peers – all the others great sages (and his comments about them were not always that complimentary – to put it mildly).  Your neighbor on the other hand realizes that it's not his place to talk ill about others that are not on his level.  His children therefore only heard great things about rabbis.  Hence they strongly aspired to become big in Torah themselves".

Possibly the simple neighbor was not all that simple.  His approach comes from a place that many don’t reach.  Sometimes the simple path is the truer path.

Can rabbis make mistakes - The Spirituality of Imperfection

The Spirituality of Imperfection[1]

Recently a famous Rosh Yeshivah stepped down admitting to of made a big mistake.

Yes a Rosh Yeshivah can make a mistake.  Even a great Rebbe and a Tzadik can make a mistake.  Did you know that even an Angel can make a mistake (see the Shaloh Beis Yisroel 18a quoting from the Medrash).

We do hold our Rebbe’s and Rosh Yeshivahs in very high regard.  The Tzemach Tzedek (quoted in Toras Shalom p. 169) said that the Alter Rebbe in the days of the Tanaaim would have been a Tanna.  The Chazon Ish (Igros Chazon Ish Vol. 1 letter 32) referred to the Vilna Goan as a Rishon. 

And yet, the pesukim are full of references to the mistakes and imperfections of the greatest of men.  To list a few, see Melachim 1 5:46; Divrei Hayomim 6:36, Mishlei 24:16 and numerous others.  There is even a special sacrifice designated for any mistakes that the High Court makes.

The rabbis of the Talmud say that Daniel made a mistake (Megilah 12a).  The great sage Rava told his students of his possibility of making an error (Baba Basra 132a). 

Yes, the Talmud is explicit (Shabbos 55b-56a) that one that says that our great Tzadikim sinned is mistaken, or as the Talmud says (Gitin 7a,) that Hashem doesn’t even cause the animal of the Righteous to sin, that is all regarding sin, but mistakes they can and do at times make[2].

Rav Nachman of Breslov famously said (Likutey Moharan I, 72; Likutey Halakhos, Hilkhos Shiluach Hakein 4:8-11): The world makes a mistake. They think that a groisa mensch [literally, a “great person”—i.e., a Torah sage and tzaddik] can’t make a mistake. It’s not so. Such a person can make a mistake. The mistake is a mistake and the groisa mensch is still a groisa mensch.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe a in public talks and in letters admitted to making a mistake (see Igoros Kodesh Vol. 1 p. 13, p. 135, Toras Menachem Vol. 12 p. 204).

I am not comparing Rabbi Laam to the Lubavithcer Rebbe, nor am I comparing the Vilna Goan to Reb Yehudah HaNasi.

…

Recently a friend of mind told me that he scream at his 8 year old out of frustration.  Later he realized that he overreacted and apologized to his son.  How beautiful. 

Humility and honesty is so important in all aspects of our lives.  But for our leaders, our teachers and yes us as parents, can make an especially strong impact.  I do not think this diminishes their power and impact, quite the contrary.

---

[1] I took this title from the name of a well know book.

[2] .  Tosfos in his comments to Gitin ibid. says that even sins can occur inadvertently by Tzadikim, and the Talmud is only referring to sins relating to eating, where there Hashem doesn't let a sin to take place even inadvertently.   

Are we off the derech?

It is well known that the Rebbe had issues with the term “kiruv rechokhim”. The Rebbe seemingly did not feel it was productive to refer to helping Jews get closer to their roots by focusing on what they are not – rechockhim; rather the focus should be on where they can improve.

Moreover, one can never know who is really closer to Hashem. HaRav Lau שליט"א told over the following: "I once mentioned to the Rebbe that I am actively involved in "Kiruv Rechokim," bringing back lost Jews who have strayed afar. The Rebbe immediately corrected me, "We cannot label anyone as being 'far'. Who are we to determine who is far and who is near? They are all close to G-d!"

At another occasion the Rebbe said: "You call them "distant"?! What gives you the right to say that you are close and they are far? You must approach each one of them as though you are the King's servant sent with a message to His most precious child!"

I would like to suggest that a similar approach be applied to those that go – “off the derech”. A. Is this name productive? B. Who can really know?

What do you think[1]?

A Positive Conversation - Letter of the Rebbe from 1944


The Rebbe: Realizing the Potential of the Jew VIDEO





[1] This idea was inspired by a tweet from a friend (@PopChassid

Pondering the Protest

I’m not here to take sides regarding the actual protest. I do think it was very commendable that the site Matzav.com did not let visitors blurb their disrespectful comments about some great manhigei Yisroel and true gedolim that had differing opinions regarding if a public protest was the way to go in connection to the draft of bochurim in Eretz Yisroel.

There was something that did pop out to me in connection to some of these protests in Manhattan, that raised an interesting question. 

The organizers of the protest were mainly members of the Satmar Chassidim. One of their biggest issues with Chabad’s involvement with the secular society – is the negative effect this might have on their ruchnius. Yet to go to Manhattan to make a protest IS ok. I don’t get the difference.

The argument that they are protesting the darkness so it therefore won’t affect them is the same argument of those in their Mitzvah TANKS, there to FIGHT the darkness with love.